


After all, I'm just a guy, standing in front of you, asking you to love me

by christinchen



Category: Merlin (TV) RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, M/M, Notting Hill AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-01-26
Updated: 2014-01-26
Packaged: 2018-01-10 02:54:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,234
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1153918
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/christinchen/pseuds/christinchen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Falling in love is easy, making a relationship work is everything but. Struggling actor Bradley James has to find this out the hard way, when he falls for the successful tv-star Colin Morgan.</p>
            </blockquote>





	After all, I'm just a guy, standing in front of you, asking you to love me

**Author's Note:**

> Fair warning: I wrote this in 2009. This story isn't finished! I might never finish this! Or i might finish it next month or in a year, who knows?!

Bradley stumbled into the darkness of his flat at half past four in the morning. He walked straight into his kitchen chair and send it crashing to the floor with a loud bang and a loud curse. Laura giggled and switched the lights on. She walked a almost agile circle around him, only wavering a little bit when Bradley reached out for her.

"God, you're so drunk." he laughed.

"Not worse than you." she answered, letting herself be pulled flush against Bradley's body. "Besides, it's the wrap party. It's our last night together and all that crap, we're allowed to get drunk."

"Oh, come on. Don't go all melodramatic on me." he pressed a sloppy kiss to her lips, his breath vile with beer mingled with hers. She kissed him again then grinned at him. "Bed?" she asked.  
He took her hand and tried to find the fastest way to the bedroom without another incident of destroyed furniture.

They've been working together for almost half an year now, on a show that was meant to be his breakthrough. But as things usually went in his life, it didn't work out. They had been cancelled after only one season. Twelve lousy episodes that no-one had watched anyway.

But tonight wasn't about that, it wasn't about the three messages that his agent had left on his mailbox earlier, still waiting to be listened to. Tonight was about forgetting, and forgetting meant lots of alcohol and shagging his blond and beautiful co-star.

He could feel her laugh against his lips as they fell onto the bed, he propped himself up on his arms, only narrowly avoiding crushing her.

He pressed his mouth to hers, his head spinning with alcohol and lust. Her lips were soft when they parted to his gently probing tongue. He let himself slowly sink down on top of her.

The alcohol had made them both pliant, their bodies warm and buzzing pleasantly with arousal.

Bradley let his lips wander over her body, pressing kiss after kiss along the soft skin of her throat, down over her collarbone. His fingers clumsily undid her blouse, revealing her bra.

When he finally had freed her from all her clothing, he stripped himself quickly. His eyes never leaving her form lying on his bed. When she noticed him staring she ran a teasing hand down her body, letting just the tips of her fingers disappear between her legs. His eyes followed her every movement and it wasn't long before he reached for her.

He straddled her waist, forcing her arms high above her head. With a confident smile he leaned down, kissing her before releasing the grip on her wrists and letting his own hands run down over her arms and down her sides then up again.

He was mesmerized by her beautiful skin and full curves of her body. Gently he let his hands wander over her, feeling her breath catch every time his fingers started to slide lower.  
"Bradley" she whispered, her lips red where she was biting down on them. She reached out her hand to him, pulling him down flat on top of her. Her body bucked into his, a silent plea.

The seconds it took for him to fumble for a condom and to roll it over his cock, seemed far to long.  
When he slid into her, she moaned softly. He paused a moment, letting the feeling of her warmth around him wash over him.

When he burrowed his face in her neck and started to thrust she moved against him, encouraging the long and slow rhythm of his hips.

Their breathing was getting heavier, their moans louder. Her hands were on his back, her fingers digging into muscle. He felt her body starting to shake beneath his as he came deep inside her.

He came to a rest still on top of her. They lay together, limbs tangled and it was only seconds before Bradley was asleep leaving her unsatisfied.

 

~.~

Bradley stretched his arms wide, keeping his eyes closed to enjoy a few more blissful seconds of being half asleep, before he slowly sat up.

A low groan escaped his lips as a pounding headache spread through him. A wave of nausea hit him, his vision went fuzzy and caused him to slowly lie back down again.

"Fuck." he breathed. After a few more tries he managed not only to sit up but also made it into the bathroom without throwing up.

It was several minutes later when he stumbled into his kitchen to find Laura sitting at his table drinking coffee and eating toast.

"Here." she nodded towards a glass filled with water, a few painkillers next to it.

"Thanks." he said sitting down and downing them quickly. When she didn't say anything else he took his cue to be quiet and not fill the silence with the awkward talk that should follow after last night.

"Didn't take you for the guy to be into this whole magic thing." she said suddenly, swallowing the last bite of toast with a large gulp of coffee.

When he only frowned she elaborated. "Checked you mailbox."

"You what?" he demanded, he remembered the messages from his agent.

"So, when were you gonna tell me that you auditioned for a role in 'Merlin'?" she asked teasingly, ignoring his protests.

"Well, I didn't get the role." he said while he walked over to his phone and pressed 'play'.

"No, but apparently they liked you though. Because you just got an job offer as a knight in sinning armour." Laura called after him.

'Not worth an Oscar, but it'll pay the bills for sometime.' Bradley thought after listening to the message.  
His agent had gotten him a small guest role, one episode but if the producers liked him he might have a chance for another appearance.

"You do realize that this is a huge chance for your career, right?" she asked as soon as the voice mail stopped.  
"This isn't just being a knight of the week, that Lancelot guy is actually kind of important in the whole legend." he raised an eyebrow at her, when he walked back inside the kitchen. "What? I know things. And have you seen the ratings this show gets?!"

"Yes, I know." he sat down next to her with a sigh.

"Come on. You're not honestly thinking about not taking it! This could be something really big, Bradley. I mean, 'Merlin' is really successful, they get awards and all." then she grinned sheepishly, "Also you'd get to meet Colin Morgan."

When he only rolled his eyes at her, she laughed. "What? He's hot!"

 

~.~

He brought Laura to the door later.

He wasn't sure if it was an 'goodbye' or an 'see you soon'. Things were going to change, one way or another. She had an offer for a role as main cast in an tv show, he would continue struggling to pay to rent at the end of the month, keeping himself afloat with small jobs.

When he leaned in to kiss her goodbye she stopped him with a hand on his chest and a raised eyebrow.  
"Don't start something you can't finish."

"Right, guess I deserved that after last night." he admitted sheepishly.

"You deserve worse things than that, Bradley." then she was gone, her laughter ringing through the hallway.

 

Bradley slowly walked up the road that led to the Castle of Pierrefonds. Today was his first day at the set of 'Merlin'.  
He would be in Pierrefonds for two days of filming. The producers had told him he might even be able to do his own sword fighting, Bradley couldn't help but be excited.

He had met up with Laura before he had left the day before. She still thought that this might be his big chance to finally get his career going. Still, to him it seemed like nothing. It was a small role, a guest appearance.  
Also he was pretty sure that Laura was only encouraging him for her own benefits. She had tried to pressure him into making him get her an autograph of Colin Morgan. And when he had teased her for having a crush she had blushed bright red and told him how she thought he was an brilliant actor. Which he was, Bradley had to admit that much, and he was also kind of good looking. But this thing Laura had for him? It was ridiculous, the guy wasn't that great. And he certainly had nothing on Bradley. _Not_ that he was jealous. The night with Laura was a one time thing, an admittedly not that great one time thing, but he had still not intention of repeating it.

"So, you're Lancelot?" asked a voice behind him, startling him out of his thought. When he turned he saw a dark haired guy walking up to him. Bradley was pretty sure he recognized him from somewhere.

"Yes... You're playing Arthur, right?"

"Yeah, I'm Ben." a wide smile spread across is face.

"I'm Bradley." he grinned back as they made their way up to the castle's grounds.

 

~.~

With a heavy sigh Bradley let himself fall onto the stairs in front of one of the castles entrances. There was a guy sitting the small strip of shadow the walls behind them are providing. He didn't look up when Bradley sat down next to him. Bradley leaned back and soaked up the sun shining down on them.

"Hi." he sayed after a few moments on silence.

He received a curt nod, but the guy didn't look up from the script he was reading.

"I'm Bradley." he tried again, and again he didn't even look up as he answers: "Colin."

"You're Colin? Colin Morgan? You look totally different than on tv."

His hair was the same dark color, but Bradley could see the product in it making it look slightly curled and mused up. His body was the same, lanky and skinny, but it didn't give him that slightly odd look that Merlin had, it made him look graceful.

Colin gave a snort in response and Bradley just _knew_ that he was rolling his eyes at him. Even if he hadn't once looked up.

He was just about to ask another question when they got called to the next scene. Colin immediately stood up and followed the PA. But then he turned after a few steps. A wide smile lit up his whole face, his eyes seemed impossibly blue.  
"Nice to meet you, Bradley." then he walked away.

Bradley felt the grin still tugging at the corners of his mouth when he walked to his scene minutes later.

 

~.~

Filming was just down right awesome, Bradley decided after the first. And he hadn't even started with sword fighting. He had spend half his morning sparring with Ben and their stunt coordinator with some wooden sticks. Tomorrow he'd get to wear real armour and they'd finally film the sword fight between him and Arthur.

Bradley was practically buzzing with energy when he came to set the next day. They were going to film the opening scene with him and Merlin. And Bradley couldn't help but be excited to meet Colin Morgan again. Laura was right after all, he was an great actor and if nothing else it couldn't hurt to know someone like him.

When Bradley arrived at the clearing in the forest where the crew had set up their equipment, he was rushed through a quick fixing of his make-up before someone yelled 'Action!'. When they were done shooting Colin was already running to is next scene before Bradley had the chance to even say 'Hi'.

 

~.~

His time in Pierrefonds had passed way too quickly, Bradley thought as he walked from his last scene to the costume trailer to get changed before he went to the train station for his ride back to London. It had been an amazing experience though, he had learned a lot and he had lots of fun with the cast and crew.

Katie waved him on her way by as he stepped into the trailer and started to get himself out of his costume. She had seemed really scary at first and most of the time she had given the impression she hated him, but he had found himself spending time with her anyway and was starting to actually like her.

Ben was an amazingly easygoing guy. He had had a great deal of fun with him between their scenes.

Things with Colin weren't that easy though. Bradley liked him and he had repeatedly tried to spend time with him, but it sometimes just felt like talking to a brick wall. A very attractive brick wall, but a brick wall nevertheless.

Bradley wasn't sure what exactly it was that kept him being pulled to Colin, but it didn't matter now. In a few hours he would be sitting on his train back to London and Colin would have forgotten all about him in a matter of days.

Bradley pulled his sweater over his head, then after a last look around he picked up his bag and turned to leave. He pulled the small door close behind him while rummaging through his bag for the bottle of coke he knew he had put in there earlier.

He had just opened it to take a swig when he rounded a corner, walking straight into Colin. The coke spilled everywhere, still most of it seemed to be on Colin's white t-shirt.

"Fuck!" Bradley cursed.

"Shit! Can't you see where you are walking?!" Colin was swearing at him.

"Look, I'm sorry. I didn't see you."

Colin huffed. "At least you didn't ruin Merlin's shirt or the costume department would have had your head."

"So, now only you'll have my head. That sounds reassuring." But Bradley found himself grinning when he saw a small smile tugging at the corners of Colin's mouth.

"I won't if you find me something dry to wear." Colin offered.

"Well, come on then. I have clothes in here." Bradley held his bag up and nodded to the trailer he had just left.

 

~.~

Bradley pulled the door shut behind him. Turning around he stared at the sight in front of him. Colin had stripped of his ruined shirt, leaving Bradley with the sight of his pale skin.

He took a hesitating step forward, running a hand up Colin's arm. But as soon as his brain had caught up with his actions he pulled his hand back as if burned.

"Sorry, I shouldn't have... I don't know what..." Bradley stuttered out.

But Colin only grinned at him, stepping up right in front of him.

"I knew there had to be something behind all the bad flirting with Katie." then he kissed him.

It took Bradley a long moment to respond, shocked by the warms lips pressed against his. When Colin's teeth gently nipped at his lower lip, he brought his arms up and around him. Bradley brought their bodies closer together, he felt Colin smile against his lips before he deepened their kiss.

By the time they separated they were both breathing heavily. Colin had backed them against the door and Bradley was trapped between it and Colin's warm body flush against his.

A low moan escaped his lips and he couldn't stop his hips from jerking forward when Colin ground slowly against him. Colin chuckled softly, his eyes dark with lust. He ran a teasing hand over the bulge in Bradley jeans, causing him to groan breathlessly and let his head fall back against the wall.

Colin's hands unbuckled his belt and Bradley felt his trousers skidding down his legs. Seconds later Colin followed them, sinking to his knees in front of him.

"Oh God."

Bradley could barely stop his hips from pressing forward, trying to get more contact. But Colin just kept up the teasing touches. Bradley's whole body felt like it was on fire, his veins were thumping with arousal and his head fuzzy.

Colin's eyes were steadily focused on his and Bradley was squirming under the intensity of his gaze. Colin pressed his lips to Bradley's still cotton clad crotch, holding Bradley firmly in place when his hips bucked into the contact.

Bradley felt a whine catch in his throat when Colin tucked down his boxers and licked a hot stripe up his hard cock.

"Fuck, please!" the words tumbled from his lips helplessly. His breathing was heavy and his head swimming with lust.

And then finally Colin let his cock slide into his mouth. Bradley let out a breathy moan when he felt the wet heat surround him.

He brought up a hand, letting his fingers tangle in Colin's dark unruly hair. Just holding him, steadying himself, never pushing.

The soft humming sound Colin made in the back of his throat, had Bradley's hips pushing into the contact. Colin put one hand flat on his waist, as the other hand went to his balls rolling them gently in his palm. Pushing Bradley closer and closer to the edge but never letting him come.

Colin pulled his lips off him, then encircling the base of his painfully hard cock began to stroke him slowly.  
As soon as Colin loosened his grip and the hand on his hip was no longer holding him in place Bradley let his body move, his hips surging forward with each hard, twisting stroke.

His harsh breathing was loud in the small room, accompanied by soft moans falling from his lips.  
"Oh, I'm... I'm..." the breathless words were barely over his lips when Bradley felt heat rush down his spine, he arched his back and let his head fall back.

His body shuddered and jerked when he came.

 

~.~

Colin's body pressed him heavily into the cushions of the couch.

They had stumbled through the room, Bradley had barely avoided sending them both crashing to the floor when his feet had caught in the trousers pooling around his legs.

Their lips had clashed together with enough force to make them hiss with barely noticed pain. Colin's hands had scrambled to get his remaining clothes off, while Bradley had blindly groped for Colin's belt.

Bradley could still feel the feather light kisses on his overheated skin, a sharp contrast to the heat of their touch. He could still hear Colin's soft moans ringing in his ears along with his own pleas for 'more', 'faster' and 'now'. If he closed his he could still see how Colin had looked the moment he had come, pulsing hot, buried deep inside his body.

He ran a hand through Colin's sweat slick hair, their hearts had calmed down their racing beat and the mix of come and sweat between their bodies had cooled down to a clammy stickiness clinging to their skin.

 

~.~

There was a loud knock coming from the other side of the door, followed by someone yelling that Colin was needed on set and if he was in there he'd better get moving. The both jerked upright, almost tumbling off the couch in their haste. Bradley caught Colin around the waist and nodded towards the door. After a moment the confused look disappeared from his face.

"I'll be right there!" Colin called out and seconds later they heard the sound of footsteps fading away.

"Fuck!" and then Colin was up and picking up his clothes.

"Wait. Here." Bradley held Colin's shirt out to him and gestured for him to get cleaned up. "Just take a new one out of my bag over there."

"Thanks."

They dressed in silence and Colin disappeared from the trailer without as much as another word or look at Bradley.

"It was nice while it lasted, I guess." he uttered to himself.

 

Bradley was sitting on the sofa in his living room, Laura on the opposite side of him. She was questioning him about every single second of the week he had spend filming in France, who he had met and what they had talked about.  
He was carefully trying to avoid anything about 'The Incident with Colin Morgan' as he had started to call it in his head. But Laura was seeing right through him not three minutes into their conversation.

"Alright, out with it! Who did you sleep with? And don't say you didn't because I can see 'I had fucking great sex' written all over your face."

"Umm... well." there was no sense in lying to her, she would get it out of him one way or another. "Colin."

He saw the moment when what he said registered with her, her eyes widened comically. Then she opened and closed her mouth in a futile attempt to say something, before she finally got the words past her lips.

"Bradley James, I hate you so much. And now tell me every dirty detail."

And then he did.

"It didn't mean anything. I was _just_ a casual fuck." but Bradley wasn't even sure who he was trying to convince, Laura or himself. His chances to succeed with Laura weren't looking that good though.

"But?" she inquired, raising a perfectly shaped eyebrow.

"Nothing!" but his words were missing the heat. "It was great, alright. It probably was the best sex I had in ages. And he's kind of an okay bloke." he admitted finally, his voice low.

"You _like_ him."

 

~.~

"Come on." Laura voice called as soon as she let herself into his flat and Bradley decided that telling her where he was hiding his spare key had been a huge mistake. "You're not going to spend the whole weekend holed up in your flat sitting in front of your TV. Again."

He could see her round the corner to his living room where he was lying on his comfortable sofa, a half drunk six-pack of cheap beer on his coffee-table and his eyes focused on the moving images on the screen. When she entered the room he fumbled for the remote and pressed 'mute'.

"Are you watching 'Merlin'?" he wasn't sure if her voice was surprised or amused.

"None of your business." with another quick press on the remote the TV screen flickered and went black.

"Oh, come on you're not still pining after him, are you?" Laura flopped down next to him on the sofa, causing Bradley to pull his knees up where he had spread his legs out. "Because if you are, this is getting way out off hand. And you really need to do something to forget him!"

"What do you want me to do?" Bradley eyed her with a defeated sigh.

"Go out with me."

 

~.~

Bradley woke to the ringing sound of his cellphone. He fell almost out of bed trying to locate it. Twice. When he finally managed to get it out of the pocket of his jeans which were lying somewhere on the floor, halfway under the bed, Bradley answered with a brusque: "What?"

"Woah, sorry. I didn't mean to catch you in a bad timing." came the slightly taken aback reply. The voice sounded vaguely familiar, but Bradley's hungover brain couldn't associate it straight away.

"Who is this?" he asked confused.

"Colin. I... we... um..."

Bradley sat up straight in his bed, the cellphone almost falling from his grip with shock. He winced when the sudden pain ripped through his head.

"Are you okay?" Colin sounded worried.

"Yeah." and Bradley would deny that he sounded even the slightest bit whiny.

"Are you hungover?" Colin was sounding amused now.

"A bit." he admitted reluctantly and pouted when he heard Colin laugh on the other end of the line.

"Well, actually I was just calling to tell you that we're finished filming and ask you if you wanted to meet or something?"

Bradley's heartbeat quickened when he heard a tenuous amount of nervousness in Colin's voice.

"Yeah, sure."

 

~.~

Bradley got off the tube, self-consciously tugging at the hem of his shirt. It had taken him longer than he was ready to admit to decide which shirt to wear and to style his hair to his satisfaction.

He wasn't sure what to expect from this 'meeting', he wasn't even sure if it was a date or just a catch-up between acquaintances or maybe something totally different.

Bradley got to the other platform just in time to see the train arrive. The few seconds it took for it to stop and for the doors to open before people started to pour out, were enough to make Bradley's heart beat fast enough to make him feel like he'd run a marathon and for his hands to get sweaty. He inconspicuously wiped them on the legs of his jeans before taking a few deep breaths to calm him.

He spotted a head of dark unruly hair in the crowd and was seconds later greeted by a wide grin and a wildly waving Colin.

"Hey!" he called as soon as he had fought his was through the people separating them.

"Hey yourself." Colin gave him a smile that almost looked shy before nodding his head towards the subway's exit. "Wanna go?"

 

~.~

"So?" Bradley set the two pints of beer down on the small table between them.

They had gone to a small darklit pub in the down town of London, Colin seemed to know the place and Bradley had to admit that it wasn't half that bad.

"Yeah, thanks for coming, I guess." Colin's gaze stayed fixated on the tabletop his fingers idly spinning his glass round and round. "I wasn't sure whether I should call or not."

"No, it's okay, really." Bradley wasn't sure what to make of Colin's sudden shyness. It wasn't like he had anything to lose, they had already had sex. This was supposed to be easy, relaxed and not this cramped. "I'm glad you called."

"We didn't exactly... well, actually after what happened that day... I mean I just ran away without another word afterwards..."

It was kind of endearing, Bradley thought eyeing the soft pink blush colouring Colin's cheeks.

"Well, I didn't even know it was your last day until Katie told me the next morning and..."

"You're really not good at this kind of thing, are you?" Bradley laughed at Colin's clumsy tries of explanation.

"That bad, huh?" but it brought the familiar, carefree laughter back in his voice.

 

~.~

Bradley let himself be pressed flat against his front door. Colin's body was warm against his, his hips moving in slow circles. He felt his erection pressed against his own. He heard a low moan just before he was pulled into another kiss, never sure if it was his or Colin's. Their teeth clashed, their tongues met and Bradley wrapped his arms tighter around Colin's body, when he felt Colin's finger tread trough his hair.

"Keys..." he whispered when Colin pulled back long enough to breath.  
"I have keys." One hand went to his jeans pocket trying to find them, the other strayed curled around Colin's waist, tucking him closer while sliding his knee between Colin's open legs.

"Good." Colin bucked his hips, his cock, hard and hot rubbing against Bradley's leg. Bradley could finally feel his fingers around the cold metal of his flat key. He almost dropped it to the floor when Colin choose that exact moment to press his mouth to the hollow of his throat and carefully sucked the skin between his lips. His head fell back against the door, giving Colin more room.

It took all his concentration to unlock the door, he couldn't remember ever feeling to relieved when he heard the lock click, and steering them through his hallway into the bedroom.

They were tumbling down onto his bed, hands grabbing at each other, hurried to remove their clothing. Finally skin touched skin, Bradley rolled them over, bringing Colin on top of him.

"Fuck." he breathed hoarsely, as he arched up in to Colin’s hands. He could feel the soft teasing touch of his fingertips as they travelled down all over his body.

He drew a quick, shaky breath when Colin's mouth followed his hands, kissing a hot path down his chest. He stopped just below his navel, shooting him a hazy gaze before licking a hot wet stripe up his cock.

Bradley let his head fall into his pillow with a soft thud, when he felt Colin's lips slide over the head of his cock, engulfed in the heat of his mouth and pleasure of his movements.

He heard the tiny sounds falling from his lips, pressed his head deeper into the pillow. Colin's eyes followed his every movement, his pupils wide blown his arousal. Colin looked absolutely hot like this, Bradley thought, his cheeks flushed, his hair ruffled and his lips swollen and stretched over his cock.

Bradley let his hand reach down, drawing over Colin's head, along his neck following his slow, almost languid movements, then further through the fine strands of his hair. He traced along his ears, feeling a rush of heat pooling in his belly when Colin moaned around him.

His breaths were coming fast, he close, so close.

"Colin" he breathed a warning, only to splutter when Colin's fingers pressed against the base of his cock squeezing, stopping him from coming. He soft whine fell from his lips in protest.

"Not yet. I want you to fuck me." Colin's voice was hoarse. Bradley moaned, his body fighting for release, his mind for control.

"God yes." He tucked on Colin, pulling him up to him. Their lips pressed together, all but melting into the kiss. He ran a hand down Colin's back, his body was warm in spite of the sweat cooling on his skin.

With a soft moan against his lips Colin rolled them over, bringing Bradley on top of him. Bradley pressed their bodies flush together, rolling his hips slowly into the contact.

A gentle hand on his chest stopped him.

"I'm too far gone for you to keep me teasing like that." Colin admitted with a tight smile.

Bradley moved back, reaching for a condom and the small bottle of lube he kept in the top drawer beside his bed.

He disregarding the foil package to the mattress, popping the cap open he poured a generous amount of lube on his hand. After rubbing his hands together to heat it up, he nudged Colin to open his legs for him.

Bradley took in the fine sheen of swear covering Colin's body, the soft tremors of arousal and excitement running trough him. His eyes were wide open, pupils dilated with lust and his unwavering glance burning into his skin with heat and trust.

The full weight of what was about to happen hit Bradley like an impact. This was different from what had happened in the trailer that day, this was more, this was the beginning of _something_.

Bradley let his eyes rest on Colin a moment longer, just taking everything in. The way Colin lay beneath him, he was stunningly beautiful.

"God, you look so hot like this." his voice was hoarse with an emotion he didn't dare to put an name to just yet.

His hands shook slightly when he brought his slick fingers between Colin's legs. When the first finger entered him Colin moaned softly, Bradley echoing him when he felt him first clench tightly around his finger then relax into the intrusion.

As soon as he felt Colin move back against him, he added a second finger. Gently stretching Colin, before he finally positioned himself between his spread legs, his cock slowly easing into Colin's body.

A low groan ripped from Bradley's throat, when he felt the heat surround him.

"Fuck, _move_." Colin's hand ran through his hair pulling him closer and pressing their lips together in a messy kiss. Bradley started to slowly rock into Colin, causing his hips to move back against his thrusts.

Bradley let himself fall forward onto Colin's chest with a soft noise, his hips setting a steady rhythm, moving harder and faster, pushing them both closer and closer to their climaxes.

Bradley felt the heat coil in his stomach, he reached a hand between their bodies tugging Colin's cock, forcing a shudder and a desperate moan form him.

Colin's back arched up, his mouth opened in a silent scream. His orgasm pulled Bradley along, with one last deep thrust he came.

They lay tangled together, Bradley's arms had given out, he had slumped down on top of Colin. His breath was quick and shallow against Colin's neck, he could feel their hearts beating fast. When he pulled out and moved to lay down next to Colin he was pulled into a soft sloppy kiss, their bodies were soon curled together, ignoring the sweat and come between them.

 

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

Bradley woke to a warm body draped halfway over his own, a hand curled on his chest and a head resting on his shoulder, soft hair brushing his face with every breath.

Colin slowly lifted his head, his eyes meeting Bradley's. He looked completely ravished, his dark hair sticking up, his eyes unfocused and his body sleep warm.

"Mornin'" Colin slurred.

He smiled softly at him, before curling further into him, bringing one leg up and sliding it teasingly over Bradley's half hard cock.

"Morning." Bradley chuckled and wrapped his arms around Colin rolling them over, so he was on top of Colin. His erection brushed against Colin's, forcing a moan form both of them.

He brought his head down, so his forehead was resting to Colin's, slowly rocking his hips against Colin. It wasn't long before came with a keening groan, hearing Colin's answering cry only moments later.

"I'd offer you a shower..." Bradley murmured later, "but I don't think I'm up for another round just yet."

He was laying curled up on his bed with Colin, running a gentle hand through the strands of sweaty hair, knowing he looked hardly better. He could feel come drying on his stomach and the sheets draped around them were downright filthy. And it really should be comfortable lazing about like this, his arms and legs intertwined with Colin's, exchanging soft kisses now and then, but somehow Bradley couldn't remember ever feeling relaxed and contented.

"Hmm... give me a minute." Colin's grinned wickedly before disappearing underneath the covers.

 

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

The next weeks passed in a blur, and in hindsight Bradley thought that he should have known that something would go wrong. Things with Colin were just too perfect. And perfect never lasted long.

But Colin had been amazing, they had gone out, they had lounged around Bradley's flat, had great sex. Bradley would for ever wank to one especially memorable time.

They had been to a party at one of Colin's friends' place. Ben and Katie had been there too. The moment he and Colin arrived Katie had pulled him into a crushing hug that let him smell how much of these bright red drinks, she was pressing into his and Colin's hands, she had alreadly had. They had tasted incredibly sweet, but after he had emptied the first one he could judge from the fact that his vision was going slightly fussy around the edges that they contained besides sugar and dyes also a lot of alcohol.

As soon as his glass was empty Katie had the next drink ready for him, green this time. Ben had only shrugged when he had looked at him questioning.

"So, do I have to worry that I go blind or anything?" Bradley had asked him, only partly joking.

"I'm pretty sure she's on her second round through the rainbow for tonight. You can relax, no strange side effects.", he had laughed, taking a slip from his own glass.

"Right, only the mother of all headaches in the morning." then he had drowned the rest of his drink.

By the time Colin had dragged him to the impromptu dance floor in the living room, he hadn't been able to walk in a straight line, but Colin's condition wasn't one bit better. They had had their arms around each other's waist, both leaning on the other and holding him up.

Their bodies had moved together, brushing against each other. The people around pushed into them, bringing them closer together, their hip grinding lazily into each other.

The alcohol had made their movements slow, but had also taken their focus off everything around them. The only thing Bradley had been able to see, smell, touch, feel was Colin. And he hadn't been able to get enough of him.

He had looked incredibly, wearing skin-tight jeans and a black button down shirt. His hair, which he had carefully styled earlier, had been damp with sweat and slightly curly in his neck. His eyes had sparkled with the carefree smile that had been on his face all night and too much alcohol.

Colin had brought a gentle hand to his hip, correcting their angle and guiding their hips together in a way that had let Bradley feel just _how_ aroused Colin was.

"So, wanna get out of here?" Colin had asked. Bradley had tugged his hand into Colin's and had pulled him off the dance floor, his wide grin and his lust filled eyes had let no doubt what he wanted.

By the time they had said their goodbyes and made their hasty exit, Bradley had been ready to rip Colin's clothes of him.

As soon as they had stepped into the buildings elevator, Colin had crowded him against the wall. Lips had been pressed to his hungrily, devouring him with sweet tasting lips, softly nibbing teeth and clever strokes of his tongue.

"You taste like those fucking rainbow drinks." Bradley had laughed.

But Colin had only regarded him with a smothering look, then his deftly fingers had undone his fly and he had sunk to his knees in front of him.

Bradley's head had hit the wall behind him with a heavy thud. A low groan had escaped his lips the moment Colin had ran his fingertips over the bulge in his trousers, before tugging down his boxers and jeans so they were stuck somewhere around his knees.

Colin had sucked him off with lazy, almost sluggish movements, it had been fast and messy. Colin had tugged him back in with a smug grin, and had exited the elevator practically dragging Bradley, tried with post-coital sleepiness, along.

"Come on, our cab is waiting outside."

As soon as they were seated in the car, Bradley had reached over running a hand over Colin's crotch, causing a low moan to fall from his lips. When he had tried to pull the zipper of his jeans down, Colin's hand a closed around his wrist, stopping him.

Colin had leaned in close to him, whispering into his ear. His breath had been hot against his skin and the words had shot straight to Bradley's groin.

"Want to fuck you, but not in here."

They had practically tumbled out of the cab as soon as it had come to a stop in front of Bradley's flat. The moment they had entered his bedroom, they had started tearing their clothes off.

Bradley had pulled Colin onto the bed with him, drawing him into a kiss. He had kissed and touched each inch of skin all over Colin's body.

When Colin had been writhing with pleasure beneath him, he had reached for the lube. Opening the cap and slicking up his fingers he had straddled Colin's lap, lifting himself up enough that Colin could see where his fingertips went after teasing over his hard cock. When the first finger had entered him Bradley had moaned softly, rocking back into his own hand. He had grinned when he saw Colin's eyes darken with lust and felt his cock twitch with arousal at his display.

"You're a fucking tease." Colin's voice had been hoarse.

"You're enjoying every second of it." Bradley had countered.

Colin's hands had wandered over his overheated body, running up his thighs, gripping his cock and stroking him just the right way to make him lose control. Bradley had pushed his hips into the contact, hurrying along preparing himself and had desperately fumbled for a condom.

"Oh yeah, I'm enjoying every second of _that_." then he had been cut off by a throaty moan, when his cock had slowly entered Bradley.

Bradley had lowered himself down until Colin's cock was all the way inside him, then he had braced himself with his hands against Colin's chest. The first few thrusts had been shaky, but the Colin's hands had come up steadying his hips, countering his movements and suddenly they had found their perfect rhythm.

Bradley had felt the heat pooling in his belly, he had brought one had around his own cock, jerking him in time with their thrusts.

His hand had been working faster and faster, bringing him closer to his orgasm. Colin's had moaned underneath him, pushing up into him one last time before coming. Bradley had felt the warmth seep into him, then his spine had when rigid and he had followed Colin over the edge.

Afterwards Bradley had curled himself into Colin, had rested his head on his shoulder.

He had fallen asleep with his arms tightly around Colin's warm body, never knowing that it would be the last time he would do so.

They had been woken in the middle of the night by the ringing of a cellphone. Colin had fumbled his way out of the bed, blindly groping for his jeans in the still dark room.

"'ello?" his voice had been heavy with sleep.

Bradley could hear a woman talking on the other end of the line, but he couldn't make out any of the words that were said.

"Fuck, sorry. I forgot." Colin had gotten up and left the room then, but Bradley had still been able to hear his low voice float into his bedroom.

"No, I was at a party with Ben and Katie..."

"Yeah, of course. I'll be right there."

Then Colin had come back inside, looking apologetic.

"I have to go." he had told him.

"Okay."

Bradley had watched him as he had picked up his clothes and gotten dressed quietly. He had leaned own to him and pressed an almost chaste kiss to his lips.

"I'm so sorry." he had whispered against his lips, his eyes not quite meeting Bradley's.

"It's alright. I'll call you tomorrow?"

"No. No, you can't. My... my girlfriend, she's back in town. And... I'm sorry."

Then he had been gone. By the time the sun had come up outside hours later, Bradley had finally gotten up from where he had sat on his bed, desperately trying to understand what had happened. He had gone into his small kitchen and made himself a cup of coffee without as much as realizing what he was doing.

The feeling of numbness had never quite left him, despite the fact that days had gone by since that night.

 

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

Bradley was sitting curled up with a warm blanket and a hot cup of tea on his couch in his living room when his front door opened and a furious looking Laura stormed in. He neither had returned her numerous call nor had he answered when she had sounded the doorbell. He just didn't want to see _anyone_.

She took one look at him before deflating and asked:  
"Alright, what's wrong?"

He only rolled his eyes at her:  
"I don't feel like having company."

"Out with it, now!" she demanded and flopped down on the couch next to him, stretching out her legs on his coffee-table.

"Colin has a girlfriend." he said after a long moment of silence. Saying it out load made more real somehow, he found, like it no longer was something that had only happened inside his head.

"Oh come on stop moping. You knew that you were nothing more than a quick fuck to him" she stopped when she saw the look in his eyes. "You didn't?!"

It felt like someone had punched him in the gut, a cold freezing pain that slowly ate it's way through the numbness inside him.

"You _knew_ he had a girlfriend?!" his voice wasn't loud, it wasn't accusing. His tone held sadness and a simple cognition.  
"You _knew_ he had a girlfriend and didn't even _once_ think that you ought to tell me?!"

"What? It was all over the papers. It's not like I knew you didn't know!"

"Get out! Just _fucking_ get out of here!" he yelled, and finally finally he felt anger rush trough him, drowning out the emptiness Colin had left behind inside him.

"Okay, calm down. And look at me." she put a hand to his chin and tilted his head up. Her eyes concentrated on his for a moment, then her expression changed first to shock then to something like sympathy.  
"Oh God. You're in love with him."

The second Laura had left his flat, Bradley went to his fridge, he took out a still to three-quarters full bottle of vodka and went back to his sofa.

He poured himself a full glass and downed it in one go, ignoring the burn it left in his throat.

 

~.~

It was little more two weeks after the night, when Colin had left, that Bradley decided to go on a date. Laura hadn't given him one silent minute about it, ever since she found out that he had developed _feelings_ for Colin. _Feelings_ , because Bradley refused to even think the l-word.

He went out with Nadya, a friend of Laura that she had ensured him was exactly his type and absolutely perfect for him. Fifteen minutes into their date Bradley had been bored and half an hour later he was just annoyed and left with the excuse of having a stomach flu.

"She was horrible." he complained later that night to Laura on the phone. She had called him five minutes after he had gotten home, obviously Nadya had been heartbroken so when he had left that the first thing she had done was call Laura. Which was only one more prove to Bradley's allegation.

"She's _not_. She's perfectly nice. You're the one who was an absolute arse!" she told him.

"She spent an hour talking about how great her ex was!" Bradley argued back. Because it totally wasn't his fault that this date had been horrible, he had only put an end to it before he had to suffer anymore, in an admittedly not that polite way.

"Cut her some slack. She's been through a hard break-up. I thought you'd get along with her just fine, considering..."

"I did _not_ have an break-up of any sorts. And I don't want to talk about it." he was getting more and more annoyed with her the longer this phone call was lasting.

"Alright, alright! Maybe Nadya wasn't the best choice for you. _But_ there is this really cute guy. Tall, skinny and dark hair. His name is Andrew and you'll like him. This time I'm sure."

 

~.~

Bradley had known that he would regret it the moment he had agreed to meet him. What he hadn't known was that he had to suffer through three and a half hours of Andrew talking about some computer game he was interested in.

The only reason he hadn't tried to flee yet was that Laura hat been right in one point. Andrew _was_ exactly Bradley's type. He had dark brown, almost black hair, his frame was lanky and if you squinted just the right way he looked a lot like Colin.

In a weak moment, when Andrew asked him if he wanted to come back to his flat, Bradley almost said yes, but then he decided that it just wasn't right. He didn't want Andrew, he wanted Colin and just because someone looked kinda _like_ Colin didn't mean that he was him.

"I'm sorry" he said finally, "but I don't think it would be an good idea."

And that had been the last time he let Laura set him up for a date with somebody.

 

~.~

Three days later he got a call from his agent, They would start filming the next season of 'Merlin' in five months and they wanted him in the role of Lancelot again. Only after he had hung up and confirmed that he was going to take the job, Bradley realized that filming 'Merlin' would mean working with Colin.

They were both professional enough to handle this like adults, he squashed the panic bubbling up in his chest. Besides it was only a few days, a week at the most. And it was still months away, by the time they would start filming he would have long forgotten about whatever silly crush it was that he had developed for Colin, right?

 

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

It was seven in the morning and the sun wasn't even fully up, when Bradley's doorbell rang. He was nowhere prepared to leave his warm bed and answer the door, whoever was outside could go to hell.

Five minutes later Bradley was stomping through his flat, yanking the door open he started to yell:  
"It's no even seven in the morning, I was sleeping. And if you ring the doorbell twice and no-one answers, then ringing it _fifteen_ times won't do you any good either. So, could you please just..." he stopped dead in his track when he realized that the person standing on his doorstep was Colin. A very shocked looking Colin.

Before Bradley had the time to feel self-conscious about his appearance, yelling at your ex in nothing but a worn pair of boxers and a sleep rumbled t-shirt with his hair sticking up in any and every direction wasn't exactly the most modest thing to do after all, Colin had already spluttered out an apology and had turned to leave.

"Hey, wait! I didn't mean it like that!" Bradley called after him. His mind screamed at him to shut up and just let him walk away, while his heart stopped a beat until he saw Colin slow his pace, then stopping entirely and turn around, facing him.

"Well, I did but... you know...?" his heart did a double take, beating fast in his chest, banishing every bit of coherency he had left.

"Can I come in then?" Colin asked in an almost shy voice. And Bradley took in his appearance for the first time since he had shown up on his font door. Colin looked pitiful, his hair was plastered to his forehead, either from rain or grease Bradley couldn't tell, his shoulders were slumped and he had dark circles underneath hollow, dull eyes.

Bradley nodded slowly.  
"You look terrible." he said when Colin hauled himself inside his flat.

"I _feel_ terrible."

 

~.~

"I didn't know where else to go." Colin was sitting on his Bradley's couch. Bradley had wrapped him up in a warm woollen blanket and had passed him a cup of tea, but he still looked absolutely miserable.  
"There are pictures of me in the newspapers, all over the internet. They're just... _everywhere_. And my flat... there are reporters all around and..."

"It's alright, I guess. I just don't why you..." the question that had been burning on his mind form the second he had seen Colin in front of his door, was interrupted by the ringing of his cellphone.

"Hello?"

"Holy _fuck_! Have you seen this?!" Laura's voice came over the speaker at full blast.

"Listen!" Bradley started with a sigh. "I really don't have time for this!"

"Oh yes, you _do_. This is the 'gay scandal of the year'. Your ex-lover, bane of your sleepless night, Colin Morgan is all over the papers in all his naked glory and in a few very compromising positions. So, trust me: you _want_ to see this!" Bradley could see what little colour had been left draining from Colin's face when he heard her words.

"Fuck!" Bradley breathed before hanging up on her.

Colin only nodded mutely when looked at him inquiringly.

"My ex..." he offered finally, his voice quiet, his eyes never meeting Bradley's. "God, he took those fucking pictures ages ago."

"And now he sold them to the press?" Bradley asked softly. Colin only nodded.  
"Naked pictures?"

"Those aren't even the worst..."

Bradley winced.  
"What's going to happen now?" he asked after a few moments of silence.

"I don't know. I just needed to get away. I couldn't... my agency, the producers, fuck... my parents – I just... I couldn't." Colin trailed off, his voice was rough with emotion, a single tear falling down his cheek.

"It's gonna..." Bradley started, breaking off when he realized what he was about to say.

"Don't say it's going to be alright, because it's really _not_."

"No, you're right" Bradley admitted.  
"Is there anything I can do for you? Do you want something to eat? A hot shower?" he asked finally.

Colin nodded weakly. "Yeah, a shower would be nice."

 

~.~

As soon as Bradley heard the water running in the bathroom, he reached for his cellphone.

"Laura?"

"I knew you'd call me back." she exclaimed with far too much enthusiasm for his current mood to bear.

"Shut it, Laura."

"Oh no. I mean you _know_ what's behind the quite impressive pixled area, but you have to..."

"Laura, for fuck sake. Have you actually stopped for just one second and thought about how Colin might _feel_ having those photos in every fucking newspaper in the country? Have you spared one thought on what this does to his career? No, of course not. You know what? Fuck you, Laura, fuck you!" he spat before ending the call.

When she tried to call him back only seconds later he turned his cellphone off.

 

~.~

Bradley softly knocked on the bathroom door when he heard the water shut off.

"Colin?" he called.

"Yeah?"

The key turned in the lock and the door opened a fraction, Colin poked his head out in the small gap of the ajar door.  
"I thought you could need something clean to wear." Bradley held out the clothes he had brought for him.

"Thanks."

"Oh, and do you want something to eat? I can make us some breakfast." Bradley called just before Colin had closed the door again.

"Sure."

 

~.~

By the time Colin came walking back in to the living room, freshly showered, his skin was still slightly pink from too hot water, and dressed in too big sweatpants and a pullover he had borrowed from Bradley, there was the food ready on the table that Bradley had set out earlier.

"Hey." Bradley smiled when Colin snuggled into to cushions next him.

"You look better."

"Thanks." Colin smiled weakly. "And thank you for letting me come in. I... I've been nothing but an complete arse towards you that time and... I'm really sorry... "

"It's alright. Really." Bradley interrupted. "You have a lot bigger issues at your hands at the moment."

"It'll be fine, eventually." Bradley could see Colin's face closing off.

"Colin, if you need to... I don't know... talk or anything." Bradley had been sure he had seen _something_ flicker across Colin's features. Like he had been about to tell him something important, but then had decided not to.

"Yes... No... I just... I mean there are pictures of me and another guy. They can blur it all they want it's still pretty obvious what we were doing." Colin took a shaky breath, his head was lowered, his shoulders slumped with the weight of misery. It broke Bradley's heart to see him like this, but at the same time a small glimmer of satisfaction tried to grow inside him, satisfaction that now Colin was feeling the same pain he had felt when Colin had left him in the middle of the night. He squashed it, feeling guilty instantly.

"My parents and _everyone_ will have seen them by now. I never... I... My family is really religious, it's just... not right. Nobody knew, nobody and now it's... this is just so fucked up!"

Bradley's heart stopped a beat when the meaning what Colin just said sunk in. Maybe, just maybe there had been a chance for them, Colin had just been to scared to take it.  
"Hey, not _everything_ is fucked up." he tried, carefully placing a soothing hand on Colin's arm.  
"I'm still here for you." he added when Colin looked at him unbelieving.

"Yeah, and god knows why. I've done enough for you not to."

Bradley sighed. He had to _know_ if there was still something between them, if there had ever been something. Hearing Colin tell him all these things had let a small spark of hope bloom up in him. A small spark that had shown him how much exactly he still wanted Colin.  
"Colin? ... You should get some sleep."

Alright he was a coward, Bradley cursed himself while he got up to get a blanket for Colin.

 

~.~

'Colin was in an emotionally vulnerable state. It would be wrong to take advantage of him now.' Bradley told himself for the umpteenth time, while he picked up the plates with their half-eaten food as silently as he could.

Colin was fast asleep on the sofa next to him, he had been passed out within minutes. Bradley let him sleep while he cleaned the his flat for a lack of a better thing to do.

Now he was standing next to him again, looking down at him and wondering. Wondering about the same question that had been running through his mind all day: _Was there another chance for them?_ With Colin showing up he Bradley had been forced to admit that he was far from over his feelings for Colin. And that these feelings were at lot more serious than he was ready for.

Bradley leaned carefully down, brushing a strand of hair from Colin's forehead, his fingers lingering just a moment too long.

"God, why can't I just stop thinking about you." he whispered quietly.

Bradley almost jerked back when Colin's hand covered his, his head turning carefully into the contact. Instead he uncurled his fingers fully, pressing the flat of his hand to the side of Colin's head.

"Do you want to?" Colin's eyes fluttered open slowly, his clear blue gaze locking on Bradley.

"No." Bradley breathed, the answer to his question was written all over Colin's face, in the open trust in his eyes, in the fond smile on his lips. Slowly Bradley leaned down and... a cellphone started to ring.

Bradley's hand fell from Colin's face, while Colin scrambled for his phone, flipping it open after checking the caller's id.

"Hey Katie." he is a little bit breathless and his voice is still rough from sleep.

"No, I'm fine. – No, at um... at Bradley's... – Yeah, I know. – Will do. See you."

He grinned a little shyly at Bradley after he hung up.  
"Katie says hi. She was worried and wanted to know if I'm alright..."

"That nice."

"Yeah."

Bradley cleared his throat uncomfortably, the moment was gone. Both to insecure to pick up where they had been left off.

"So umm..." Colin started after a moment of uncomfortable silence between them.

They spent the rest of the day lazing on the sofa and watching tv. When Bradley saw Colin's eyes flicker shut for the third time in as many minutes, he nudged him gently.

"It's been a long day, we should get some sleep." he nodded in the general direction of his bedroom.

"Yeah. Could I get a pillow though? Your couch isn't quite as comfortable as it looks." Colin asked in a sheepish voice.

"My couch is horrible to sleep on, but you were fast asleep this morning, before I could suggest that you take the bedroom."

Colin looked startled for a moment.  
"Umm... but you shouldn't have to sleep on your own couch either."

"Let's share then." Bradley suggested easily, before the whole meaning of the thought had caught up with him.

"Are you sure?" Colin asked.

It was too late to take it back now, Bradley decided, and he would survive one sleepless night lying next to Colin.  
"I wouldn't have said anything otherwise." his voice sounded a lot steadier than he felt.

 

~.~

Bradley felt the mattress dip when Colin slipped into the bed next to him, carefully lifting the covers before sliding underneath them. Bradley caught sight of a small flash of naked skin between the low ridden pyjama bottoms he had borrowed from him and Colin's own small sized t-shirt.

He reached behind him, turning the lights off.  
"'night." Bradley whispered into the following darkness,his voice sounded hushed in his own ears.

"'night." Colin answered.

He heard Colin turn and pull up the covers, the turn again and push the covers down, only to pull them up again a few seconds later.

"Colin? You alright?" Bradley asked quietly.

"Yeah, sorry." came the instant reply followed by Colin fluffing up his pillow.

"I've slept in the same bed with you multiple times and you were never that fidgety." not even trying to speak quietly anymore, it was useless if they both were wide awake anyway and it didn't look like they were getting any sleep soon.

"Well, I was more relaxed then."

Bradley snorted.  
"You're _not_ wanking while I'm lying right here next to you."

Colin laughed.  
"Really?" his voice sounded teasingly. "How are you gonna stop me then?"

Before Bradley could answer he heard the rustling sound of the covers, then a moment later a soft moan coming from Colin.  
"You're _not_!"

"Oh, but I am. Believe me." he could hear the laughter in Colin's voice.

Bradley sat up abruptly, his hand closed around the edge of his pillow case, waiting a moment to get his bearing in the darkness of the room.

"Sorry, I shouldn't have joked about..." Colin started to apologise, misinterpreting Bradley's lack of response.

When Bradley struck out seconds later and the pillow hit Colin square on the head, he gave a surprised yelp.

"Fucking Bastard!" he shouted before grabbing hold of his own pillow and launching an counter-attack.

Bradley brought his hands up shielding him from the blow that Colin landed. He closed a hand around Colin's wrist holding him firmly in place while he pressed him flat onto the bed. Pushing all his weight in to the movement it took him a moment to realize that he had let go of Colin's arm. When he noticed it was too late, the pillow had hit the back of his head hard, causing him to fall forwards, crushing Colin under him, knocking the air out of him.

"Oof!" Colin was panting into his ear shallowly. "You're bloody heavy."

"Didn't hear you complaining last time." Bradley lifted his head of Colin's shoulder, laughing.

The pillow hit him again, high on his back this time, but there was no force behind the blow.  
"Arse!"

Still grinning Bradley pushed himself up a bit more, bringing his body to a rest with both his arms on either side of Colin's head. The movement shifted his body and brought his hips into contact with... ohh.

"I can feel that, you know." Their faces were mere inches apart, Bradley could feel Colin's breath ghosting over his lips with every word. He gently wriggled his hips against Colin's hard-on.

"Yeah, I know."

They were even closer now, their lips almost touching. Then their lips met, gently, carefully, both not sure where this was leading. Just a brief contact, when he pulled back again he was met with Colin's blue eyes staring into his.

"Bradley?" Colin's voice sounded confused, where his eyes were pleading.

Bradley leaning in and kissed him again, this time with more passion. Slowly diving into Colin, his hands cupped his jaw, tilting his face, gently deepening the kiss.

"Colin." Bradley breathed softly in answer.

There was no hurry behind their movements, just tenderness. Endless kisses, one seamlessly melting into another. Bradley rolled off Colin, wrapping his arms around him, pulling his body close to his own. He moaned softly when Colin's hand came up, his fingers stroking over his cheeks, through his hair.

They separated, both of them slightly out of breath, panting against each other's lips.  
"Third time's the charm, I guess?" Bradley smiled softly running his fingertip over the high of Colin's cheekbones then over his parted lips, before drawing him into another kiss.

The feeling of Colin's tongue brushing ever so gently against his, let all thought of this being a bad idea flee Bradley's brain. All he could think about was how wonderful Colin's pliant body felt pressed against his, how good it felt to finally hold him close again, to kiss him again.

He just wanted to wrap his arms around Colin's warm form, hold him as tight as he could and never let him go again. As cheesy as it all sounded, Colin had walked out on him two times already and Bradley was not ready to let it happen a third time.

Colin thrust his hips to Bradley's impatiently, dragging him out of his thoughts. Colin made a soft whiny sound against Bradley's lips when he failed to respond.

"Bossy, are we?" Bradley teased good-natured.

"Well, for starters we're still dressed, you have not even tried to feel me up and ohh right, I'm still hard." he punctured his statement by leisurely rolling his hips against Bradley.

"Want me to do something about that?" Bradley grinned predatory, pressing Colin into the mattress, sliding a knee between Colin's legs.

With a soft moan Colin let his legs fall open, Bradley pressed the flat of his hand to Colin's erection straining against his pyjama bottoms.

Colin let his head fall back into the pillow, exposing the skin of his neck. Moaning softly when Bradley sucked a kiss to his pulse point.

"God, you just love teasing me, do you?" Colin's voice was hoarse, his body winding underneath Bradley's.

"Yeah." Bradley answered easily. Before he finally pushed Colin's t-shirt up, letting his hands roam over the newly exposed skin, his lips following the path his fingertips had left, pressing soft kisses into the skin.

Colin's back arched up, a silent cry on his lips. Bradley could see, could practically feel how close Colin already was. But he wasn't quite ready to give up on teasing him just that much more, bringing him closer and closer to the edge but never letting him fall over. Colin had spooked through his thoughts long enough and now Bradley had the chance to do all these things to Colin, he hadn't been able to stop thinking about. And tonight there wouldn't be one that was going to be left out.

Bradley kissed and licked his way down Colin's body, a hand steadying Colin's hip to keep him from bucking up.

When he reached Colin's cock, it was hard and already leaking, curved against his stomach. Bradley darted a quick glance up to see Colin's eyes dark with lust watching his every move, he liked a lot wet stripe all over Colin's cock the way up from the base to the tip, before he slowly exhaled.

Colin's whole body jerked up, a desperate whine escaped his parted lips, he was panting heavily. Bradley could feel the arousal pooling in his belly at the sight of him, he grinned wickedly.

Bradley wet his lips and pressed them softly to Colin's cock, taking just the head inside his mouth. Tasting the musky taste of his precome on his tongue, he moaned.

"Bradley!" Colin's hands flew to his head, tugging gently on his hair, pulling him up. Bradley followed him, pushing himself up he pressed a kiss to Colin's lips. He grinned down at him when he opened his eyes, Colin was taking short uneven breaths, his skin was slick with sweat and his pupils were wide blown.

"You are evil." he gasped out.

But Bradley only smiled at him.  
"Yes, and _you_ are not allowed to come yet."

It took every amount of control Bradley had let left not to just finish Colin off and then rut against him until he came. Instead he pulled away, reaching for the lube and a condom, tonight he wanted to fuck Colin, claim him as his.

He coated his fingers before sliding them between Colin's legs, gently pushing in, stretching him. Colin moved back against his hand, trying to get more, but Bradley stilled his hips, knowing that as soon as he brushed his fingertips against Colin's prostate, it would be over.

He removed his fingers, rolling on the condom quickly, an then finally pushed into Colin's body. Bradley groaned as the heat of Colin's body surround him, he was incredibly tight and Bradley knew without opening his eyes and seeing the look of discomfort cross Colin's face that he hadn't prepared him enough.

But in that moment Bradley didn't care, right now he just _wanted_. He could feel Colin clench around him, could hear him moaning softly as he started to move.

"Shh, relax." Bradley kiss him softly, trying to distract him from his discomfort.

"Haven't... no since the last time we..."

The words felt like someone had dropped a stone in his stomach. This was Colin, he loved him, the last thing he wanted was to hurt him. And yet he was doing exactly that.  
Bradley leaned in closer, carefully inching up Colin's leg around his hip. Changing the angle, he felt Colin's half hard cock press to his stomach.

"Alright? Can I... I can... if you want...?" Bradley wasn't sure himself what he was trying to say, but Colin seemed to understand.

"No. No, don't stop, it's alright. Just give me a minute." he took a deep steady breath.

Bradley laughed softly, brushing his lips against Colin's.  
"You know, the first time should be awkward, not when you have done this a dozen times before."

"Well, this is our first time then." Colin smiled up at him, and Bradley offered him a shy smile in return. It felt right somehow, it _was_ their chance to start over, a new beginning.

Colin rolled his hips slowly up into him, causing Bradley to moan.

"Move." he demanded breathlessly. And Bradley did, gently rocking into him.

Colin's hands scrambled up, digging into Bradley's back, holding onto him fast. Bradley tried to take everything in, the way Colin's felt underneath him, the way he tasted when he kissed him, the way he moaned softly with each and every thrust of his hips.

Bradley slid his hand in Colin's entwining their fingers over their heads, bringing his over hand between their joint bodies. The fingertip of his other hand teased along Colin's cock before closing around him, a strangled moan fell from Colin's lips.

"So close." Bradley mumbled, pressing their lips together in a breathless kiss. Colin's fingers combed through his sweaty hair, running down his shoulders then up again.

"Colin." A breathless moan and then he was coming. He felt Colin shudder under him, knowing he had come too.

He opened his eyes to Colin pressing wet hot kisses all over his skin, Bradley rolled off him and curled around him.

"That was... intense." Colin rested his head against Bradley's, settling in and closing his eyes.

"I'm not letting you run off this time." but Colin didn't hear Bradley's soft whispered promise, he had already fallen asleep.

 

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

Bradley woke with his arms wrapped tightly around Colin's warm body next to him. Pressing a soft kiss into the curve of his neck, he borrowed himself closer into him, letting his eyes fall shut with a soft sigh.

A wide grin tugged at his lips when Colin took his hand he had tightened around his waist and pressed a soft kiss to his knuckles.

"'morning..." he mumbled sleepily.

"Morning" Colin sounded wide awake.

"You've been awake long?" Bradley asked.

"A while... I've been thinking." Colin turned in his arms, facing him with a small smile on his lips.

"About what?"

"You." Colin traced the tip of a finger down the side of Bradley's face.

Bradley pulled him close, kissing him gently on the lips.  
"What about me?" he asked, nudging Colin's nose with his own, prompting him to talk.

"Hmmm..." Colin screwed his face up in a look of mock concentration.

"Come on, tell me!" Bradley laughed and rolled them over, towering over Colin.

"Well..." Colin started, but then paused again, for dramatic effect.

"Tell me!" Bradley demanded, pushing himself up, straddling Colin's waist, keeping his arms trapped beside his body.

"Been thinking about you, what I'm gonna do to you." Colin whispered, his voice husky.  
"I'm gonna lick my way all over your body, kiss every inch I can reach. It'll be driving you crazy..."

"Yeah?" Bradley asked, "And then? What are you gonna do then?"

Colin smirked up at him, grinding his goin against Bradley's body above him: "Gonna fuck you senseless."

"Oh yeah?" Bradley couldn't help but ask teasingly. The easiness he shared with Colin was just wonderful after weeks of no contact at all, weeks of wondering what it had been between them, what could have happened between them. Things were just the way they had been left off in the middle of the night Colin had left, only now it didn't feel like the meaningless affair it had been back then, now it was more, so much more.

Colin pulled him out of his thoughts with a gentle kiss.  
"What are you thinking about?" his voice was soft, serious.

"You." Bradley answered equally soft.

"What about me?" Colin asked, brushing his nose against Bradley's in a repeat of Bradley's playful gesture earlier.

Bradley leaned down, kissing Colin deeply. Running his fingers through his hair. He rolled the to their sides, their legs entangled, their arms around each other, their bodies aligned.

They were kissing lazily, sleep-warm bodies brushing together, softly moaning into each other's mouths. Bradley could feel Colin harden against his leg, his own arousal pressing into the crook of Colin's hip.

Bradley slowly began to thrust his hips against Colin's body, bringing them both closer and closer to the edge. Colin was moaning softly, bringing his hand between their bodies, wrapping his fingers around both their cocks, jerking them off.

"Colin" Bradley moaned, getting closer. "Close, so close."

They were panting into open-mouthed kisses, hips thrusting frantically against each other until they came, spilling between their bodies.

"Thank you." Colin was still out of breath, when he pressed a small kiss to Bradley's lips.

Bradley raised an eyebrow at his statement.

"Not for the sex." Colin laughed. "For letting me stay the night."

"Any time." Bradley drew Colin into another slow kiss.

"Can I stay a while longer?" Bradley could see the insecure look in Colin's eyes.

"Stay forever." he smiled, when Colin laughed. "I mean it, you can stay here as long as you want..."

"Thank you." Just as Colin was about to lean in for another kiss, his cellphone started to ring. When he reached for it Bradley wrapped an arm around his middle, trying to pull him back into bed with him again. Forcing the most ridiculous pout he could manage onto his face, he saw Colin's resolve crumbling. Colin pressed a quick kiss to his lips before taking advantage of his momentary distraction and slipping out of his grip, getting a hold of his cellphone.

"Hello? … Hi Katie. … Yes, why? … What? Fuck! … Yeah, of course." after he had hung up Colin just stared at his phone for a long moment.

"Colin?" Bradley's worried voice sounded through the room, but he didn't answer. Bradley reach out a hand, gently squeezing Colin's shoulder. "Colin? Are you alright?"

He moved suddenly, dashing off out of the room to fast for Bradley to hold him back or even ask where he was going or what was wrong.

"Colin!" he called after him, but again he didn't receive an answer. With a sigh Bradley reached for his boxers and a t-shirt and got dressed.

By the time he walked into his living room Colin was fully dressed in the clothes he had been wearing when he had shown up at his doorstep yesterday morning.

"The press... they know I'm here."

"Wait! What? … But _how_?!" Bradley asked desperate to stop Colin from leaving.

"I don't know, Bradley." Colin yelled, talking slowly as if talking to a small child or an absolute idiot.  
A look a pure anger crossed Colin's face.  
"Why don't _you_ tell me?" with that he went out of the door.

Bradley followed him out in the hallway. "Colin!"  
Bradley yelled down the stairway. "Don't you dare to leave right now!"

The front door fell closed behind him, the yells of the paparazzi following up the stairs.

Bradley closed the door to this flat behind him, leaning with his back against it for a moment before sliding down.

He was feeling numb, only slowly starting to really comprehending what just happened.

'Colin was gone. Again.' Bradley sighed. 'He left just after promising he wouldn't.'

He pulled his knees up to his body, wrapping his arm around himself and resting his head on his knees.

"Fuck!" he whispered. "Fuck. Fuck. Fuck!"

He was refusing to cry. There was no way he was shedding a single tear for Colin _fucking_ Morgan, who apparently thought he could just waltz in and out of his life and heart like he pleased.

He pressed a hand to his mouth to suppress the small sobs escaping him.

His doorbell rang. _Colin. It had to be._

Bradley futilely dabbed his eyes and cheeks with the hem of his shirt, trying to look a little less like he just had been crying.

Taking a deep breath he opened the door, but he was only met with a dozed camera flashes going off.

 

~.~

It was long after midnight when his phone rang. Bradley lifted himself up from where he had curled up on his sofa and stared at it contemplating. When it didn't stop ringing after a few seconds he reluctantly moved to pick it up.

"'llo?" he muttered.

"You're such a fucking arsehole, did you know that? Did you? It's all your fault. You just had to go and ruin everything, did you?" It was Colin, he was breathing heavily down the line, his voice slurring, words drawn together.

"Colin? What are you going on about?" Bradley asked, trying to wake up enough to get Colin's words to make sense.  
"Are you drunk?" he added after a moment.

"All your fault." he repeated. If he hadn't heard his question or was purposefully ignoring it, Bradley didn't know. "All of it. "

For a moment there was only the sound of short breaths, then a small sob and the line went dead.

"Dammit." Bradley cursed. He took a deep breath and told himself not to panic, Colin was drunk and that was the only reason he had called. Not because he cared, because he clearly didn't when he could walk out on him _again_.

_Not_ that Bradley cared. He was totally over Colin. Totally.

He told himself that three more times before snapping his cellphone open again and dialling Colin's number. The call went to voice mail, just as the next ten tries and the ones after that.

Bradley finally gave up and settled back down on his sofa, preparing himself for a long night spend without getting any sleep.


End file.
